In the ever-evolving landscape of human relationships and identity, new terms continually emerge to help people describe their unique experiences. One such term gaining attention is “symbiosexuality.” This concept moves beyond traditional ideas of being attracted to a person’s individual traits, focusing instead on the dynamic energy created between people in a relationship. It’s about being drawn not just to a person, but to the unique chemistry and connection that flourishes between them and their partner. This fascinating perspective is encouraging a broader conversation about the very nature of desire and connection.
The term was identified by researchers at Seattle University in a study aimed at exploring the complexities of modern attraction. As explained by Dr. Sally Johnston, who led the study, symbiosexuality challenges the conventional view that attraction is solely a one-to-one experience. Instead, it captures the experience of individuals who find themselves captivated by the synergy of an existing couple. The attraction is to the relationship itself—to the shared history, the unspoken understanding, and the powerful, cohesive energy that the partners generate together.
What exactly does this attraction feel like? According to those who identify with the term, it’s about appreciating the whole that is greater than the sum of its parts. One person in the study described being drawn to a couple’s “cohesiveness,” and how you can “feed off their energy.” Another expressed that seeing two people who already know how to be in a healthy, functioning relationship is, in itself, an attractive quality. The appeal lies in the multidimensionality of the partnership—the way their different energies flow together to create something that feels complete and, as one participant poetically stated, “delicious.”
It is crucial to distinguish symbiosexuality from polyamory, as the two concepts, while sometimes overlapping, are fundamentally different. Polyamory refers to the practice of engaging in multiple, consensual romantic relationships simultaneously. The focus is on the individual connections between partners. Symbiosexuality, on the other hand, is an orientation of attraction; it describes who you are drawn to, not necessarily how you structure your relationships. A symbiosexual person is attracted to the dynamic unit of a couple itself, whereas a polyamorous person may build separate, individual relationships with multiple people.
This emerging identity also brings to light the often-misunderstood role of the “unicorn” in multi-partner dynamics. In this context, a “unicorn” is a person who joins an existing couple, often with predefined boundaries set by that couple. Dr. Johnston’s research suggests this role can be problematic, potentially leading to the third person being fetishized or treated unfairly. By giving a name to symbiosexual attraction, the hope is to foster greater understanding and validation for those whose desires don’t fit traditional models, encouraging more ethical and respectful approaches to interconnected relationships in all community settings.
