The journey to parenthood is deeply personal, filled with anticipation, joy, and challenges. For Bennett Kaspar-Williams, a 37-year-old from Los Angeles, that journey included a profound and painful struggle for basic respect and recognition of their identity. In 2020, Bennett, a transgender man, gave birth to his son via cesarean section. While the arrival of his child was a moment of celebration, the experience was marred by medical staff who repeatedly misgendered him, referring to him as a “mother” despite his clear identity as a father.
Bennett, who began his transition in 2014, made the thoughtful decision with his husband, Malik, to start a family. This required Bennett to pause his testosterone therapy to allow his body to carry a child. He became pregnant naturally shortly after they began trying. While he felt at peace with the physical process of pregnancy, the institutional and interpersonal barriers within the healthcare system quickly became a source of distress. The anxiety of navigating pregnancy during the early days of the COVID-19 pandemic was compounded by the consistent misgendering from nursing staff.
The core of the issue, as Bennett described, was the deeply ingrained association between pregnancy and womanhood. Even though he specified his gender as male on all medical forms, the language used by healthcare providers was rigidly tied to the concept of “motherhood.” He expressed that the only aspect of his pregnancy that caused him gender dysphoria was this constant misgendering during medical care. It was a reminder that the system was not designed to accommodate a person like him.
Following the birth of his son, Hudson, Bennett has become an advocate for a more inclusive understanding of parenthood. He emphasizes the critical need to disconnect the act of childbirth from gender identity. “No one can ever really know whether having children is possible until you try — being born with a uterus doesn’t make conceiving or carrying a certainty,” he stated. His story highlights a simple yet powerful plea: to recognize that not all people who carry children are mothers, and that respecting a person’s stated identity is a fundamental component of compassionate care.
