The cookies were perfectly arranged. The smile was perfectly polished. But Lindsey’s “welcome” to the neighborhood came with perfectly ridiculous demands about our cars. We explained we were temporary renters, but rules were rules to this HOA zealot. At 5:17am on Wednesday, we learned just how seriously she took them when tow trucks dragged our vehicles away as Lindsey watched with smug satisfaction.
Her triumph lasted exactly until the federal agent arrived. “You compromised an undercover operation,” he informed her, producing a bill for $25,000 in damages. Turns out those “ugly” cars she wanted off our driveway were government-issued with nearly invisible markings. We’ll never forget the sound of her “Live Laugh Love” mug shattering on the porch as the reality of her mistake sunk in. The neighborhood gossip queen had finally met her match – federal bureaucracy.
