Texting my husband about bread had become an art form. That day, I crafted what I thought was a masterpiece: “Don’t forget BREAD… and when Valerie your girlfriend greets you.” The fake girlfriend mention always got his attention when normal reminders failed.
His reply was prompt: “Who’s Valerie?” I smiled – got him. “Nobody,” I responded, “just making sure you saw my text.” Then his next message froze me in place: “But I’m with Valerie right now.”
My fingers flew across my phone: “WHERE ARE YOU?!” When he said “near the bakery,” I was out the door in seconds, heart racing. All I could think about was Valerie from his office – was this really happening?
Arriving at the bakery, I saw no sign of him or any suspicious women. Just then my phone buzzed: “I’m at work. Since you’re already there… get the bread. 😏” The realization hit me like a baguette to the face – he’d completely flipped my joke on me.
The final insult? “Valerie is the cashier here, remember?” Of course – harmless, married Valerie who’d worked there for years. I could practically hear my husband’s smug laughter from his office chair.
I threatened him with the worst punishment I could think of – gluten-free bread – to which he replied with laughing emojis and “Love you.” As I entered the bakery to actually buy his precious sourdough, I knew I’d been thoroughly outplayed. But next time… next time would be different.
