There’s a common habit many of us share that might quietly be damaging our relationships: phubbing. This is when someone ignores the person they’re with by focusing instead on their phone. While it might seem harmless or even normal in today’s social media-driven world, researchers warn it can have serious effects, especially with loved ones.
A study from the University of Southampton explored how different personality types react to being phubbed — feeling snubbed as a partner’s attention drifts to their phone. Everyone found it frustrating, but people with anxious attachment styles, who fear abandonment and seek reassurance, felt the sting most deeply. They reported lower self-esteem and sadness and often responded by using their own phones to seek comfort elsewhere, which could further strain the relationship.
Those who tend to avoid closeness were less affected emotionally and less likely to confront their partner, often seeking validation rather than connection. People with secure attachment styles managed better, not spiraling as much.
Psychologists suggest that phubbing isn’t something that makes someone a “bad” partner, but awareness and action can help. Setting phone-free times, like during meals or before bedtime, and discussing phone use openly can promote respect. If checking your phone is necessary, acknowledging it and quickly returning attention to your partner makes a big difference.
In the end, putting down phones to pick up your relationship is simple but powerful advice to keep connections strong amid today’s distractions.
